If you asked me during the summer what plans do I have, I probably answered:
“I don’t know what’s going to be with me. We will see.”
To see just some weeks infront of you is not very pleasure. But sometimes your only option is just to wait what’s going to happen. So I was waiting… not patient and calm all the time. But while I was waiting I realized two things:
1. Nowadays we are not used to wait. If you want a mango, you just go to grocerystore. If you need money an ATM will give it to you. If you want to fly to another country, in 20 minutes you can buy flytickets. If you want to see New York, just go to Googlemaps and you can walk in newyork streets (you can even go inside to see some museums, I tried it). We can get common things so easy and fast. So we forgot to wait… wait properly.
2. There are to ways how to wait. One thing is to wait at the doctor. You are sure that the door will open once. The other case is to wait for Godot, wait when you realy don’t know if the reason you are waiting for will become true. When you are not sure if there something to wait for. In this “Godot waiting” is much harder to stay calm and patient.
My last months were exactly like waiting for Godot. To be honest I doupted and I was losing hope from time to time.
In Psalm 130 vs.5 is written:
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope.”
I wish I would wait like this. With hope, calm all the time. Anyway, last months it was a good lesson for me. At the end God answered and showed His majesty, He humbled me (once again). Now I pray that if there will be the same situation in future, I wish I could keep my heart and mind set properly. Without “ups and downs”, doubts and trusting… I hope I will patiently wait for my God with all of me. Because GOD IS NOT GODOT.
Now it is easy to say these wise words. I am over the hard times. I stand at a hill and I can see jurney infront of me. And what is that like?
In the end october I am moving back home to Levice town. 2 years ago when I was leaving, I was decided to come back one day. Reasons were clear: I loved Levice church and I felt responsible to come back and serve there. I thank you all that supported me in different ways – financialy, by encouragements, prayers… I am excited that my desired from 2 years ago is becoming true now.
So I am going home.